As mentioned, we will focus in on the "sophisticated douchebags". Now since they are smarter and less obvious about revealing their douchery, they are much more dangerous. This being the case, it is critical that women develop some sort of radar for their nonsense. It is impossible to narrow it all down and since they are smart, specific tactics will change, but knowing their goals gives us an idea for how they might attempt to achieve them, so that is where we will being.
The douchebag is a consumer. They will make it feel like a two-way relationship but what they give isn't real and what they take is very real. They are after anything that feeds their selfish desires. This could range from resources such as time or money to the obvious and most sought after item by douchebags; sexual attention. It is stereotypical that guys want sex and are "dogs" or "pigs". While assumptions are ignorant, stereotypes do exist because they tend to be at least partially correct most of the time. Well douchebags are the extreme on this stereotype and depending on how smart and how low they are willing to go, they can be very dangerous. Now I will add that a lot of guys are at the other end of this extreme and I am certainly not bashing all males, just making a statement that needs to be pointed out.
So... We know what they are after. "But what if this guy specifically said he wants to wait for marriage? What if he said that being with me has brought him closer to God than he's ever been? He talks about marrying me.. What if he thinks... this! or that!?" This is why I mentioned something about how low they are willing to go. I know guys who have made these statements and still tried to use women for sex. Words are powerful, and douchebags will take advantage of them. Now on the other side of that, if your interested party has those words, and his actions follow those words long term, you might have something!
Speaking of "long term", here is the single most effective way to avoid douchebags. Move extremely slow. A sign of a douchebag is that you will see sparks of impatience and a short temper. These sparks will get bigger over time, and you know there is a problem. They do not have patience. Their goal is to get out of you what they can and move on. They will wait some time but if you are in an official relationship for months and there hasn't been hints of douchery, maybe you've got something.
I'm wrapping up with a list of some potential signs of a douche. Now some good guys might do a few of these things from time to time, but if you are seeing multiple offenses often over a period of time, you should be careful.
Short Temper
Not following through with plans/promises, or forgetting them completely
Not treating you with significance in group settings
Lack of interest in you/your problems or issues
Not taking your concerns seriously
Only seeing you when it is convenient for them or when they get something out of it
Attitude that gives off the idea that they are doing you a favor when they are not
They think being with them is a privilege (even if you are with a good guy who IS a privilege to be with, he would never consider himself that way if he really is a good guy.)
So those are some red flags! Keep your eyes open and be patient. If you are a girl reading this, the benefits should be obvious, but if you are a guy reading this. Look for this out of your friends, and how they talk. Then put your foot down. These are daughters and sisters, someday mothers and loved people. Being used and tossed aside. So lets do something!
Anyone feel free to share this, maybe we can save some people from bad relationships. Until next time.. Don't date the douche.
No comments:
Post a Comment